I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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