But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Randomize
