Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
