For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
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