The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
my shit smells like andre
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
