Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
did i walk over a car last night?
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Randomize
