D3 body, D1 cock
My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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