"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
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