sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
