What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
We need to get me chipped asap
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
