Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
