when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
