BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
