Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
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