Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
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