god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
