You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Did we literally take a cab across the street
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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