so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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