you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
