im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
