I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Randomize
