Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
