so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Did you just see the Batmobile???
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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