did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
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