she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
