I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
But break dance skills will only take you so far
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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