No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
