Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
