handjob tips. give me some.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
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