Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Randomize
