jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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