Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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