Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
