TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
