We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
