her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
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