so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
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