Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
