Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
i was born a porn star she said
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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