she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Randomize
