singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
