Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
