my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
try to milk me bitch
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
