It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
