I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
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