I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
