why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
She's like a pop up book from hell.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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