There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Randomize
