I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
