my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
