Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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