We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
