How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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