the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
