dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
