I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
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