p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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