I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Randomize
