One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
