Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
