is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Randomize
