You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
