So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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