So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Randomize
