everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
